A couple of weeks ago in STAC, we started to plan out STAC Live. After discussion we took our ideas to the wall outside and started to connect our ideas to 3 themes: Fun, Alternatives, and Maximum Use of Passion.
While I thought this was a great idea because it made it easier for us to branch off of each other and create new ideas based on others, to me this held something more.
I tend to think about the future a lot. I've always been interested, and maybe even worried about what is next in my life. Lately, I've been thinking about college and what I really want to do when I graduate. Granted, I still have 2 and a half years of high school left, but like I've mentioned many times before, I'm a pretty proactive person.
Lately I've been thinking about what life is going to be like once I graduate, and how I'm still going to be remembered at a school that I will remember for a long time. Every time I think about this, I get back to the STAC walls outside of the STAC room.
This year, I've written my thoughts, ideas, and passions on the STAC wall twice. I've come to realize that no matter how many times that the wall gets painted over, my words will still be there. Under layers and layers of paint, things that I've written, memories that I've had will still be there. To me, that means a lot. It comforts me to know that years from now, my permanent words will still be etched into that wall. It doesn't matter if it's seen or not, because I'll know that it's there.
This may seem corny, and cheesy, and lame, but it means a lot to me. I'm bad with change, which sometimes makes accepting reality hard for me. But knowing that my words will never change on that wall gives me comfort. Knowing that they'll always be there.
Sometimes, they make me worry less about the future, because I'll always know that there's still a part of me left in high school. A part of me still left with STAC. A part of me left with something that has truly changed my life, and made me who I am today.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Expansion
Last week in STAC we watched a movie called The Army of the 12 Monkeys. Usually, STAC movies are a challenge for me. I always try to find underlying meanings, reasons why, and answers to unanswered questions. As I've mentioned before, movies used to just be something to pass the time for me. Now, because of STAC, I'm slowly starting to see movies in a completely different way.
When Luke started the movie, I was honestly a little disappointed. The beginning just seemed totally stupid and unrealistic to me. As the movie continued however, I started to become more intrigued. The plot became pretty interesting, and I really started to understand what was going on, which was a huge change for me.
At the end of the movie, I still didn't know what to take from it, but I understood it, which is a big step for me.
At the end of Hanna, I had absolutely no idea whatsoever what was going on, and everything went right over my head. It made absolutely no sense to me, I didn't get any of the jokes that everyone else found funny, and I didn't like it at all.
This movie was different though. I started to understand the jokes, and the plot, and why the director chose the shots that he did. I started to pick up why certain clips were shown more than once, and what relevance they had to the outcome of the entire movie.
Although the movie left me a little depressed and dumbfounded on how they could possibly end on that note, I still was impressed with myself for understanding it and partially enjoying it. Granted, The Army of the 12 Monkeys is not my top favorite movie in the entire world, but I didn't hate it at all and I completely appreciated it and was happy that I saw it. And (though this may sound a tad bit repetitive) I think that's a huge step forward for me.
I know that I am no where close to done with expanding my brain and thoughts, and I know that the huge expansion I made first quarter will be hard to beat, but I think I'm still working toward understanding everything and answering all of the unanswered questions in art. And though that may seem trivial to some, I'm pretty proud of that.
When Luke started the movie, I was honestly a little disappointed. The beginning just seemed totally stupid and unrealistic to me. As the movie continued however, I started to become more intrigued. The plot became pretty interesting, and I really started to understand what was going on, which was a huge change for me.
At the end of the movie, I still didn't know what to take from it, but I understood it, which is a big step for me.
At the end of Hanna, I had absolutely no idea whatsoever what was going on, and everything went right over my head. It made absolutely no sense to me, I didn't get any of the jokes that everyone else found funny, and I didn't like it at all.
This movie was different though. I started to understand the jokes, and the plot, and why the director chose the shots that he did. I started to pick up why certain clips were shown more than once, and what relevance they had to the outcome of the entire movie.
Although the movie left me a little depressed and dumbfounded on how they could possibly end on that note, I still was impressed with myself for understanding it and partially enjoying it. Granted, The Army of the 12 Monkeys is not my top favorite movie in the entire world, but I didn't hate it at all and I completely appreciated it and was happy that I saw it. And (though this may sound a tad bit repetitive) I think that's a huge step forward for me.
I know that I am no where close to done with expanding my brain and thoughts, and I know that the huge expansion I made first quarter will be hard to beat, but I think I'm still working toward understanding everything and answering all of the unanswered questions in art. And though that may seem trivial to some, I'm pretty proud of that.
Pressure Performer
I'm starting to realize how well I work under pressure. All my life, I've always tried to be organized and tried not to procrastinate. I've always tried to be perfect in rehearsal, rather than just waiting until the performance. But sometimes, right after things go wrong or right as I walk on stage is when I get my best work done.
For example, this week we filmed our STAC Live commercial. In this commercial, Sarah is in a box, and pops up in various classrooms and yells "come to STAC Live!" and then gets back into the box and leaves. For about a week, our group had planned to meet with different teachers on different periods so that we could get the shooting done.
The day of shooting however, was a complete disaster. The box was breaking and all of the teachers that we had planned to meet with were nowhere to be found. We were completely distraught on what to do. Finally, we decided to just run around and see what happened. And that's when everything really started to fall into place.
Our end product (as of now) is a whole lot better than the ideas that we started with. I think the randomness and crazyness of the shoot let us really be free with the idea, and just go with the flow. It gave the commercial more of an easygoing mood.
I don't know how the commercial is going to come out, since we haven't finished editing, but I'm pretty proud of how well we all worked together to get it done.
A lot of times, the same scenario happens to me. Being asked to perform at the worst moments possible. Without any practice or any knowledge of what is even going on.
I can't begin to explain how many dance competitions and shows I've been in where 5 minutes before I stepped onto the stage I was given different directions or different blocking. And every single time, I've hit that last minute change.
Granted, for someone who is as stressed out as I am, pressure performing may not be the greatest thing to deal with before a show. But, I feel like it's the only way I really get things done perfectly.
Sometimes before shows and recitals, I completely forget everything. All of the steps, my lines, my blocking, everything, seconds before I'm about to go on stage. And then suddenly, once I actually step into the spotlight, it's like it all comes flooding back. The pressure of performance brings it all back.
It's a really stressful thing to think about, but thankfully it always works for me. Of course, I absolutely don't want to rely on it, because maybe someday I'll stop being a pressure performer. But for now, I'm glad to have that net of security under me every time I stress out about a show.
It's a kind of funny thing, pressure performing. Because you really never know what's going to happen next. Just when everything seems like it's falling apart, it suddenly all starts to go right. So for now, I'm going to take my pressure performing and expand on it. And maybe, it'll just get that much easier and that much better.
For example, this week we filmed our STAC Live commercial. In this commercial, Sarah is in a box, and pops up in various classrooms and yells "come to STAC Live!" and then gets back into the box and leaves. For about a week, our group had planned to meet with different teachers on different periods so that we could get the shooting done.
The day of shooting however, was a complete disaster. The box was breaking and all of the teachers that we had planned to meet with were nowhere to be found. We were completely distraught on what to do. Finally, we decided to just run around and see what happened. And that's when everything really started to fall into place.
Our end product (as of now) is a whole lot better than the ideas that we started with. I think the randomness and crazyness of the shoot let us really be free with the idea, and just go with the flow. It gave the commercial more of an easygoing mood.
I don't know how the commercial is going to come out, since we haven't finished editing, but I'm pretty proud of how well we all worked together to get it done.
A lot of times, the same scenario happens to me. Being asked to perform at the worst moments possible. Without any practice or any knowledge of what is even going on.
I can't begin to explain how many dance competitions and shows I've been in where 5 minutes before I stepped onto the stage I was given different directions or different blocking. And every single time, I've hit that last minute change.
Granted, for someone who is as stressed out as I am, pressure performing may not be the greatest thing to deal with before a show. But, I feel like it's the only way I really get things done perfectly.
Sometimes before shows and recitals, I completely forget everything. All of the steps, my lines, my blocking, everything, seconds before I'm about to go on stage. And then suddenly, once I actually step into the spotlight, it's like it all comes flooding back. The pressure of performance brings it all back.
It's a really stressful thing to think about, but thankfully it always works for me. Of course, I absolutely don't want to rely on it, because maybe someday I'll stop being a pressure performer. But for now, I'm glad to have that net of security under me every time I stress out about a show.
It's a kind of funny thing, pressure performing. Because you really never know what's going to happen next. Just when everything seems like it's falling apart, it suddenly all starts to go right. So for now, I'm going to take my pressure performing and expand on it. And maybe, it'll just get that much easier and that much better.
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