Over break I watched a completely horrible movie called "Waiting for Forever." It was truly truly awful.
For starters, the plot was completely underdeveloped. I had absolutely no idea what was going on. It was like the writers just assumed you knew everything that was going to happen every time a new scene rolled around.
Also, the movie contradicted itself. For example, there was one really whacked scene where the mother is like beating the father with a rag screaming about how much she hates him, and then two seconds later they're laughing and in love again with no transition to tell you why.
The storyline was also just plain weird. I wish I could explain it or summarize it, but I really can't, because I had no idea what was going on by the end of the movie.
The lighting and filming was also horrible. The movie was so dark, and there were constantly shadows over the actors faces. Every time the camera panned an area, it would shake, like some teenager was holding it and making a short film just for kicks.
And lastly, the special effects were ridiculously horrible. At one point in the movie, half of the screen was pouring rain and the other half was not. It was just really pathetic.
Thankfully though, I got something out of this horrible movie. I was so proud of myself for understanding and identifying what makes a movie good, and how and where it went wrong in this movie.
I thought it was pretty funny how you can learn so much more from a bad movie than you can learn from a good movie. If you see a good movie, it's just nice to see and that's it. But if you watch a bad movie and pick up on all of the flaws, you know that you're learning about what make a good movie good and a bad movie bad.
All in all, although it was pretty painful to watch, I'm glad I saw "Waiting for Forever," because it taught me a lot.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
New Year, New Goals
Don't you just love how everyone expects the new year to be "the best one yet" or to "fix the problems" that occured the year before? It's pretty funny if you think about it. It's like January 1st is this magical date that's just going to fix everything. Having the clock hit midnight is not going to fix a fight, or change something you said, but don't we wish it could? Granted, I too partake in the cliches that make New Years what it's cracked up to be, but sometimes it just makes me wonder.
2011 for instance. I've learned and accomplished a lot of things. I started high school. I wrote my first song. I learned how to play the piano. I got my first guitar. I got my dream role in Fiddler. I got the freshman chorus award. I learned how to handle people. I wrote a book. I got an iPhone (trivial to some, but that thing is my life). I turned fifteen. I got my first A+ in a math class. I took my first 5 hour test (that damn PSAT). I got into STAC. I took my first midterm, and my first final. I performed in my first high school musical. I got a perfect score on Level 6 NYSSMA. I was the only girl in my class to make All County for voice. I spent an entire morning dressed up as the queen of hearts, screaming at people during battle, and probably had the most fun I've ever had in my life. I got a new baby cousin. I made new friends, and lost some old ones. I watched my brother grow up. I watched my sister grow up. I watched myself grow up.
But all in all, I'm still Sarah. I'm still the girl who is completely obsessed with The Little Mermaid. I'm still the girl who could listen to a Taylor Swift or a Lady Gaga song on repeat for hours and still get chills. I'm still the girl that watches High School Musical whenever she gets the chance, and sings along to every song. I'm still the girl who gets sick all the time. I'm still the girl that sometimes doesn't shut up and repeats herself constantly just because she's so damn excited about something. I'm still the girl who can't get up in the mornings for her life. I'm still the girl that is obsessed with theatre and obsessed with wanting to become better and better at her music. I'm still the girl that is always cold, even if its sweltering hot outside. I'm still the girl that shudders when music on the radio has been pitch distorted. I'm still the girl that can be cured of anything with a Jennifer Aniston rom-com and some oreos. I'm still the girl who worries about everything. I'm still the girl who belts showtunes when she's home alone. Bottom line, I'm still me.
Sure, 2012 will bring a lot of new and great things. But a new year can't change or fix everything. To me, a new year just means new beginnings, more growth and expansions, and bigger and better accomplishments. A new year can't cure a broken heart, but it'll give it time to heal. A new year can't change everything, but it can change one thing in a big way - if you let it.
So this year I'm determined to have more accomplishments than the list I posted above, but to still keep all of the qualities I already have. This year I want to write a complete album, and I am determined to do it. I'm 3 songs in, and I know that with a lot of work and dedication that I'll be up to 10 by the middle of this year. I want to write another book (though I know it'll be so hard considering I don't even have time for myself). I want to work on my acting, and make it better than it already is. I want to get dancing again, and I want to improve and learn new things because I miss it so much. And this year I want to try new things, and to just have fun.
2011 for instance. I've learned and accomplished a lot of things. I started high school. I wrote my first song. I learned how to play the piano. I got my first guitar. I got my dream role in Fiddler. I got the freshman chorus award. I learned how to handle people. I wrote a book. I got an iPhone (trivial to some, but that thing is my life). I turned fifteen. I got my first A+ in a math class. I took my first 5 hour test (that damn PSAT). I got into STAC. I took my first midterm, and my first final. I performed in my first high school musical. I got a perfect score on Level 6 NYSSMA. I was the only girl in my class to make All County for voice. I spent an entire morning dressed up as the queen of hearts, screaming at people during battle, and probably had the most fun I've ever had in my life. I got a new baby cousin. I made new friends, and lost some old ones. I watched my brother grow up. I watched my sister grow up. I watched myself grow up.
But all in all, I'm still Sarah. I'm still the girl who is completely obsessed with The Little Mermaid. I'm still the girl who could listen to a Taylor Swift or a Lady Gaga song on repeat for hours and still get chills. I'm still the girl that watches High School Musical whenever she gets the chance, and sings along to every song. I'm still the girl who gets sick all the time. I'm still the girl that sometimes doesn't shut up and repeats herself constantly just because she's so damn excited about something. I'm still the girl who can't get up in the mornings for her life. I'm still the girl that is obsessed with theatre and obsessed with wanting to become better and better at her music. I'm still the girl that is always cold, even if its sweltering hot outside. I'm still the girl that shudders when music on the radio has been pitch distorted. I'm still the girl that can be cured of anything with a Jennifer Aniston rom-com and some oreos. I'm still the girl who worries about everything. I'm still the girl who belts showtunes when she's home alone. Bottom line, I'm still me.
Sure, 2012 will bring a lot of new and great things. But a new year can't change or fix everything. To me, a new year just means new beginnings, more growth and expansions, and bigger and better accomplishments. A new year can't cure a broken heart, but it'll give it time to heal. A new year can't change everything, but it can change one thing in a big way - if you let it.
So this year I'm determined to have more accomplishments than the list I posted above, but to still keep all of the qualities I already have. This year I want to write a complete album, and I am determined to do it. I'm 3 songs in, and I know that with a lot of work and dedication that I'll be up to 10 by the middle of this year. I want to write another book (though I know it'll be so hard considering I don't even have time for myself). I want to work on my acting, and make it better than it already is. I want to get dancing again, and I want to improve and learn new things because I miss it so much. And this year I want to try new things, and to just have fun.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Permanent Words
A couple of weeks ago in STAC, we started to plan out STAC Live. After discussion we took our ideas to the wall outside and started to connect our ideas to 3 themes: Fun, Alternatives, and Maximum Use of Passion.
While I thought this was a great idea because it made it easier for us to branch off of each other and create new ideas based on others, to me this held something more.
I tend to think about the future a lot. I've always been interested, and maybe even worried about what is next in my life. Lately, I've been thinking about college and what I really want to do when I graduate. Granted, I still have 2 and a half years of high school left, but like I've mentioned many times before, I'm a pretty proactive person.
Lately I've been thinking about what life is going to be like once I graduate, and how I'm still going to be remembered at a school that I will remember for a long time. Every time I think about this, I get back to the STAC walls outside of the STAC room.
This year, I've written my thoughts, ideas, and passions on the STAC wall twice. I've come to realize that no matter how many times that the wall gets painted over, my words will still be there. Under layers and layers of paint, things that I've written, memories that I've had will still be there. To me, that means a lot. It comforts me to know that years from now, my permanent words will still be etched into that wall. It doesn't matter if it's seen or not, because I'll know that it's there.
This may seem corny, and cheesy, and lame, but it means a lot to me. I'm bad with change, which sometimes makes accepting reality hard for me. But knowing that my words will never change on that wall gives me comfort. Knowing that they'll always be there.
Sometimes, they make me worry less about the future, because I'll always know that there's still a part of me left in high school. A part of me still left with STAC. A part of me left with something that has truly changed my life, and made me who I am today.
While I thought this was a great idea because it made it easier for us to branch off of each other and create new ideas based on others, to me this held something more.
I tend to think about the future a lot. I've always been interested, and maybe even worried about what is next in my life. Lately, I've been thinking about college and what I really want to do when I graduate. Granted, I still have 2 and a half years of high school left, but like I've mentioned many times before, I'm a pretty proactive person.
Lately I've been thinking about what life is going to be like once I graduate, and how I'm still going to be remembered at a school that I will remember for a long time. Every time I think about this, I get back to the STAC walls outside of the STAC room.
This year, I've written my thoughts, ideas, and passions on the STAC wall twice. I've come to realize that no matter how many times that the wall gets painted over, my words will still be there. Under layers and layers of paint, things that I've written, memories that I've had will still be there. To me, that means a lot. It comforts me to know that years from now, my permanent words will still be etched into that wall. It doesn't matter if it's seen or not, because I'll know that it's there.
This may seem corny, and cheesy, and lame, but it means a lot to me. I'm bad with change, which sometimes makes accepting reality hard for me. But knowing that my words will never change on that wall gives me comfort. Knowing that they'll always be there.
Sometimes, they make me worry less about the future, because I'll always know that there's still a part of me left in high school. A part of me still left with STAC. A part of me left with something that has truly changed my life, and made me who I am today.
Expansion
Last week in STAC we watched a movie called The Army of the 12 Monkeys. Usually, STAC movies are a challenge for me. I always try to find underlying meanings, reasons why, and answers to unanswered questions. As I've mentioned before, movies used to just be something to pass the time for me. Now, because of STAC, I'm slowly starting to see movies in a completely different way.
When Luke started the movie, I was honestly a little disappointed. The beginning just seemed totally stupid and unrealistic to me. As the movie continued however, I started to become more intrigued. The plot became pretty interesting, and I really started to understand what was going on, which was a huge change for me.
At the end of the movie, I still didn't know what to take from it, but I understood it, which is a big step for me.
At the end of Hanna, I had absolutely no idea whatsoever what was going on, and everything went right over my head. It made absolutely no sense to me, I didn't get any of the jokes that everyone else found funny, and I didn't like it at all.
This movie was different though. I started to understand the jokes, and the plot, and why the director chose the shots that he did. I started to pick up why certain clips were shown more than once, and what relevance they had to the outcome of the entire movie.
Although the movie left me a little depressed and dumbfounded on how they could possibly end on that note, I still was impressed with myself for understanding it and partially enjoying it. Granted, The Army of the 12 Monkeys is not my top favorite movie in the entire world, but I didn't hate it at all and I completely appreciated it and was happy that I saw it. And (though this may sound a tad bit repetitive) I think that's a huge step forward for me.
I know that I am no where close to done with expanding my brain and thoughts, and I know that the huge expansion I made first quarter will be hard to beat, but I think I'm still working toward understanding everything and answering all of the unanswered questions in art. And though that may seem trivial to some, I'm pretty proud of that.
When Luke started the movie, I was honestly a little disappointed. The beginning just seemed totally stupid and unrealistic to me. As the movie continued however, I started to become more intrigued. The plot became pretty interesting, and I really started to understand what was going on, which was a huge change for me.
At the end of the movie, I still didn't know what to take from it, but I understood it, which is a big step for me.
At the end of Hanna, I had absolutely no idea whatsoever what was going on, and everything went right over my head. It made absolutely no sense to me, I didn't get any of the jokes that everyone else found funny, and I didn't like it at all.
This movie was different though. I started to understand the jokes, and the plot, and why the director chose the shots that he did. I started to pick up why certain clips were shown more than once, and what relevance they had to the outcome of the entire movie.
Although the movie left me a little depressed and dumbfounded on how they could possibly end on that note, I still was impressed with myself for understanding it and partially enjoying it. Granted, The Army of the 12 Monkeys is not my top favorite movie in the entire world, but I didn't hate it at all and I completely appreciated it and was happy that I saw it. And (though this may sound a tad bit repetitive) I think that's a huge step forward for me.
I know that I am no where close to done with expanding my brain and thoughts, and I know that the huge expansion I made first quarter will be hard to beat, but I think I'm still working toward understanding everything and answering all of the unanswered questions in art. And though that may seem trivial to some, I'm pretty proud of that.
Pressure Performer
I'm starting to realize how well I work under pressure. All my life, I've always tried to be organized and tried not to procrastinate. I've always tried to be perfect in rehearsal, rather than just waiting until the performance. But sometimes, right after things go wrong or right as I walk on stage is when I get my best work done.
For example, this week we filmed our STAC Live commercial. In this commercial, Sarah is in a box, and pops up in various classrooms and yells "come to STAC Live!" and then gets back into the box and leaves. For about a week, our group had planned to meet with different teachers on different periods so that we could get the shooting done.
The day of shooting however, was a complete disaster. The box was breaking and all of the teachers that we had planned to meet with were nowhere to be found. We were completely distraught on what to do. Finally, we decided to just run around and see what happened. And that's when everything really started to fall into place.
Our end product (as of now) is a whole lot better than the ideas that we started with. I think the randomness and crazyness of the shoot let us really be free with the idea, and just go with the flow. It gave the commercial more of an easygoing mood.
I don't know how the commercial is going to come out, since we haven't finished editing, but I'm pretty proud of how well we all worked together to get it done.
A lot of times, the same scenario happens to me. Being asked to perform at the worst moments possible. Without any practice or any knowledge of what is even going on.
I can't begin to explain how many dance competitions and shows I've been in where 5 minutes before I stepped onto the stage I was given different directions or different blocking. And every single time, I've hit that last minute change.
Granted, for someone who is as stressed out as I am, pressure performing may not be the greatest thing to deal with before a show. But, I feel like it's the only way I really get things done perfectly.
Sometimes before shows and recitals, I completely forget everything. All of the steps, my lines, my blocking, everything, seconds before I'm about to go on stage. And then suddenly, once I actually step into the spotlight, it's like it all comes flooding back. The pressure of performance brings it all back.
It's a really stressful thing to think about, but thankfully it always works for me. Of course, I absolutely don't want to rely on it, because maybe someday I'll stop being a pressure performer. But for now, I'm glad to have that net of security under me every time I stress out about a show.
It's a kind of funny thing, pressure performing. Because you really never know what's going to happen next. Just when everything seems like it's falling apart, it suddenly all starts to go right. So for now, I'm going to take my pressure performing and expand on it. And maybe, it'll just get that much easier and that much better.
For example, this week we filmed our STAC Live commercial. In this commercial, Sarah is in a box, and pops up in various classrooms and yells "come to STAC Live!" and then gets back into the box and leaves. For about a week, our group had planned to meet with different teachers on different periods so that we could get the shooting done.
The day of shooting however, was a complete disaster. The box was breaking and all of the teachers that we had planned to meet with were nowhere to be found. We were completely distraught on what to do. Finally, we decided to just run around and see what happened. And that's when everything really started to fall into place.
Our end product (as of now) is a whole lot better than the ideas that we started with. I think the randomness and crazyness of the shoot let us really be free with the idea, and just go with the flow. It gave the commercial more of an easygoing mood.
I don't know how the commercial is going to come out, since we haven't finished editing, but I'm pretty proud of how well we all worked together to get it done.
A lot of times, the same scenario happens to me. Being asked to perform at the worst moments possible. Without any practice or any knowledge of what is even going on.
I can't begin to explain how many dance competitions and shows I've been in where 5 minutes before I stepped onto the stage I was given different directions or different blocking. And every single time, I've hit that last minute change.
Granted, for someone who is as stressed out as I am, pressure performing may not be the greatest thing to deal with before a show. But, I feel like it's the only way I really get things done perfectly.
Sometimes before shows and recitals, I completely forget everything. All of the steps, my lines, my blocking, everything, seconds before I'm about to go on stage. And then suddenly, once I actually step into the spotlight, it's like it all comes flooding back. The pressure of performance brings it all back.
It's a really stressful thing to think about, but thankfully it always works for me. Of course, I absolutely don't want to rely on it, because maybe someday I'll stop being a pressure performer. But for now, I'm glad to have that net of security under me every time I stress out about a show.
It's a kind of funny thing, pressure performing. Because you really never know what's going to happen next. Just when everything seems like it's falling apart, it suddenly all starts to go right. So for now, I'm going to take my pressure performing and expand on it. And maybe, it'll just get that much easier and that much better.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Constructive Criticism
Last Friday in STAC we presented our power projects to the class. The girls of sophomore dance were all pretty nervous, considering that we finished our dance only the day before the presentation. We were afraid that people weren't going to understand our dance, or maybe think that it wasn't really that good.
Before we started, Luke discussed with us how to deliver constructive criticism. I liked his idea about it a lot. He told us that when watching or viewing a piece that is a work in progress, respond to it by asking questions. I liked that. In past experiences, constructive criticism consisted of telling people other things they should do with their piece. Not compliment it or help the performer understand it. With Luke's method, the criticism makes the performer understand what is unclear, and why. I think that works a whole lot better.
After our discussion, we finally performed it. And despite the nerves, I think we all did really well. A lot of people seemed to enjoy our dance, and most of the class understood the storyline. There were a few misconceptions here and there, and we now know what they are and are able to fix them.
I can't wait to get back to work on our project. I'm eager to fix the problem spots and make our dance better then it already is. I have a feeling that by the end of the year, our group will become really strong. And I'm glad to say, we're really close to getting there!
Before we started, Luke discussed with us how to deliver constructive criticism. I liked his idea about it a lot. He told us that when watching or viewing a piece that is a work in progress, respond to it by asking questions. I liked that. In past experiences, constructive criticism consisted of telling people other things they should do with their piece. Not compliment it or help the performer understand it. With Luke's method, the criticism makes the performer understand what is unclear, and why. I think that works a whole lot better.
After our discussion, we finally performed it. And despite the nerves, I think we all did really well. A lot of people seemed to enjoy our dance, and most of the class understood the storyline. There were a few misconceptions here and there, and we now know what they are and are able to fix them.
I can't wait to get back to work on our project. I'm eager to fix the problem spots and make our dance better then it already is. I have a feeling that by the end of the year, our group will become really strong. And I'm glad to say, we're really close to getting there!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Little Time, Pretty Big Changes
Over the past couple of months, my approaches to creativity have changed. I have learned so much more about culture, art, and myself that it is surprising. I have completely changed many of my habits in the different disciplines, and my way of thinking about things.
One good example is when we watched the movie Hanna in class. Before STAC, watching movies to me was just something to do to pass the time. I didn't really pull a movie apart, or look for a true meaning, or watch it extremely intently. I just watched it, laughed when it was funny, ate my popcorn, and left the theater. And maybe if it was good, bought it on DVD. But one thing that completely boggled my mind in class was when we completely tore apart Hanna.
For starters, while watching the movie, I was just a little flustered. My usual movies consist of corny romantic comedies where Jennifer Aniston falls in love with yet another handsome actor in the end. Hanna was not that kind of movie. Hanna was deep, and left you wincing and wanting to know what was going on. I had honestly never experienced a movie like that before.
When I left the classroom the day we watched the movie, I honestly wasn't very pleased. I was torn with myself that everyone else got the jokes, and I didn't. That everyone else enjoyed the movie, and I had no idea what to take from it. It really bugged me all night long. I just wanted to know how everyone else could think that way and I couldn't.
A day later however, my problem was solved. Once we started to pick apart the scenes and look for deeper meanings in the movie, it all started to make sense to me. Before our discussion, I would have never picked up that it was like a take off of Snow White. I would have never picked up all of the characterization and what was back story and what wasn't.
Watching some clips again the next day to prove points really made me change my outlook on Hanna. I felt like I was finally starting to get everything that everything else was getting. It made me feel more at ease, and since then I haven't been thinking the way I did before STAC.
Lately, I'm starting to take everything I see - commercials, movies, people on the sidewalk or in the hallways, television shows - and rip them apart. Find a creative base that no one else would be able to see at a glance in that one small thing. It's almost become habit. I like this new way of thinking, because everything you see truly changes around you.
Another example is when we went to MoMA on the second STAC trip. On the first trip, all of the museums I went to (before I got sick) really made no sense to me at all. I didn't get why those things could be considered art.
And granted, some of the things in MoMA I still didn't understand. But honestly, what if they aren't meant for comprehension? What if the artist makes them so that you don't get it? I mean, if you see a stick in a museum, you're going to think about it, right? Think about how stupid that is, how your dog could do that, etc. But no matter what the circumstance, you're still thinking about it. It affected you. And lately, that's what I've been thinking about when I see things like that.
I've been finding the underlying cause. The point that no one has brought up. Something no one would see if they just took a careless glance. And I can honestly say that it was all because of STAC.
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